Piece of Cake
by shourin
Summary: what really happen during Hijikata's little rendezvous during ep.1? ep.1 spoiler...just a little bit..HxO


Disclaimer: Shimsengumi Imon Peacemaker/ peacemaker kurogane is not mine. Don't sue, be happy!

Warning: Slight reference on m/m relationship…what rate is this? PG? uh.. If you don't like it, you're invited to leave.

**Piece of cake**

"maaa… how beautiful the sakura blossoms today, don't you think so?" the woman ask me, apparently trying to make our little rendez – vous more lively. She then looked at me, expecting some answers.

"I think the blossoms at our barracks are more beautiful" I reply flatly, puffing the smoke from my lung. Well it's the truth, the blossoms will be prettier if you enjoy it with the right person and as far as the situation concern – she is **not** the right person.

"mou… as harsh as always, but that's what I like about you, Hijikata – fu-kou-chou." And she said giggling at my chest. Kamisama!… She's ugly! And look at that thick make – up. How thick is that? 3 inches!

She then fingering the slit of my yukata, making small circles on my bare chest. I shuddered at that, not because I'm enjoying it, it's because there's an ugly bitch with 3 inches make- up leaning against me and try to look sexy! It's disturbing! No, it's down right horrifying! Kamisama! Where's my cute little hunny bunny Souji when I really need him?

Flashback

_"You know Hijikata-san, you have to act naturally. Our cover depends on your acting. I'll support you from behind, ne! We'll come to rescue if there's anything bad happen." And there Souji goes, smiling pointing his finger to the sky. Acting like listen-everyone-I have-a-wisdom-to-tell-you-today kind of thing._

End of flashback.

No… that's not helping at all!

That woman, of course being totally mistaken on my body language, keeps on seducing me with her leering smile. She then pulling my head down and tilled her head to the side, so that I have access to her neck. I tried to resist, but I never thought that woman really had a strong grip on a man's head. _I'll do this for your sake, Souji_, I vowed and lowered my head, resting my cheek on the woman's neck.

"You're so handsome, Hijikata-sama…" she purred to my ear. "_AND YOU'RE AN UGLY BITCH!" _I screamed in my heart. Then I heard it, footsteps in different directions. They're finally here. Believe it or not, I'm actually kind of relief. Oh, how I wish they had come sooner.

The first man approaching me asked, "Are you Hijikata Toshizou?"

Stupid peoples. Why bother asking if you already knew who I am.

"And what if I am?" heh, smooth Toshi, real smooth. Go and entertain them with their stupidity.

"Then we have to kill you!" and they charged. Cheh, stupid amateurs, they should know not to babbles on something stupid before starting any fight. And look at those slashes, it's weak, I can easily evade it. And their footwork, they are slow and not smooth enough. Well then, no more playtimes, it's time to say "sayonara" to your precious life now. There, one slash to the front, evade the ones at the back, more slashes at the right, 1,2,3,4, down. 6,9,11, oh, and there goes that poor guy's head. And another head is rolling. And a hand is flying. And…

Oh, there're no more men for me to kill. Uhh.. that was easy. Looking around, hey, there's a person left. That ugly bitch. (_Insert dramatical background music here_)

I walk towards her. She was covering against the wall, stuttering her apologies. Wow, this is funny; the "sexy" 3 inches make-up woman is apologizing to me. She's crying, smearing her make-up with her tears, making her face looks uglier. My, my… let me release you from your demise. Wait! Before that, maybe she aught to have some advise,

"Lady, if you want to seduce me, reborn again and be prettier than my boyfriend." Her eyes had become as big as the saucer and then, the poor woman died. Just like that. Piece of cake.

A/N: How 'bout that? My first attempt on makin' humor fic, and a major oocness on Toshizou's part… Nyeheheheheh! Pls, do tell me if you have any comment 'bout it, maybe I don't really have a sense of humor… (yes… yes…I know… there's nothing funny on slaying people's head, I just want to lighten the mood, So, no flames…ok?)

Ohh.. and tell me if you think that this fic should be continued. I already had something in my head.. ..


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